I also grew up watching action movies like “True Lies,” where Arabs were consistently portrayed as blood-thirsty terrorists, willing to kill for some petty cause that would have been resolved by a more rational race. My Shiite dad cringed as he read newspaper articles during the Iranian hostage crisis about Muslims and their “fanatical” and “extremist” ways. I sat in traffic behind bumper stickers that read “Kick their ass, take their gas” during the Gulf War. Then, of course, there were the FBI interrogations of random American Arabs (i.e. potential terrorists) during the Oklahoma City Bombing. But that was then, before we entered one of the most ethnically diverse and racially sensitive eras in U.S. history.

Still, when the Egypt Air flight went down last year, I sat in front of my TV and braced for the worst. In the midst of the tragedy and loss, I knew it wouldn’t be long before the usual finger-pointing ensued. First there would be reports of possible tampering by terrorists; then airport security would be tightened so someone with a last name like mine might have to tack an extra hour onto their travel plans.

To my surprise, the experts studying the crash failed to mention Mideast terrorism. In fact, the press was oddly quiet about pointing fingers in that direction. Perhaps, I thought, they had learned a lesson from the misguided accusations surrounding the Oklahoma City tragedy–ones that caused hate crimes against Arabs and Muslims to rise by 300 percent. But once the black box was found and the Egyptian captain was heard uttering some final words about God as the plane went down, it was the same old story with a different spin. Even outside the influence of a terrorist group, individual Arabs were irrational, it seemed–each a deadly force ready to strike at any minute (unless they were driving your cabs, making your falafel or running convenience stores in neighborhoods that even criminals were afraid to inhabit).

My initial reaction is to say Arabs and Muslims have somehow been exempt from America’s latest attempt to live up to its melting-pot promise. It may be that in these politically correct times, we figure we’ve sorted out all that old racism stuff by substituting such terms as ‘African-American’ for black, ‘community’ for ghetto and ‘multi-cultural’ for all-mixed-up. We’re no longer stereotyping in the same old ways, portraying Jews as greedy or deceitful or blacks as pimps and thugs (unless, of course, you’re a record label pedaling rap–then it’s ironic, empowering and most importantly, makes big money). But in reality, careful phrasing is like placing a small Band Aid over a gaping wound, causing Americans to create new ways to express old stereotypes.

In film and TV, we now see women represented as self-sufficient professionals, although they may still bite their lips like three-year-olds when there’s any decision tougher than which shoes to wear (see Ally McBeal). Asians are now represented as familiar co-workers–too bad they still use all their brainpower for calculated, cold-blooded schemes (see Ally McBeal.) And then there’s the uneducated Mexican who’s been upgraded to the Modern Latino (as of press time, no TV or film examples exist of the latter). PC culture has also created a mean counter culture–giving rise to “controversial” figures like Eminem, who’s considered shocking because he gives voice to all the nasty stuff we can’t say directly. But really it’s just the pushing of not-very-hard-to-find buttons that makes Slim Shady today’s pop icon. To be a counter-culture rebel today, all you have to do is adopt the basest aspects of your grandparents’ generation–such as gay, minority and woman bashing–and dress them up as a new form of rebellion. What’s propped up as a daring slaughter of the sacred cow is really drugstore-brand bigotry with a good beat.

I don’t expect Arabs will be taken out of the position of Public Enemy No.1 anytime soon, but at least I know how my country really sees us. There are films like “Rules of Engagement” to remind me. Middle Easterners have at least been spared the empty PC jargon that makes other ethnic groups wonder where they really stand in this new, more tolerant America.